I was born with a competitive spirit. I started playing soccer at age 5, begged to learn how to slide tackle at 6 and received my first red card at age 8. I play hard, I play tough and I play to win.
My journey into Fitness Competition Land began in September of 2010. I was checking out Stacey Cooper's and BootyCampSB's Facebook pages one day and stumbled upon the infamous before and after pics. I was intrigued. How did these transformations happen? Are these women even real? Can real women get these bodies or are they reserved for super models, gym addicts and pro athletes? I have to admit that I didn't believe for one second that I could be one of those "after" women, but curiosity (and let's be honest...those booty pictures) got the better of me and I called Stacey anyway.
Stacey met with me and explained the diet requirements and the time commitment. During our meeting , I was convinced that the pants I was wearing were going to give away the fact that my life had become sedentary. I was sure that Stacey the Personal Trainer and Bikini Competitor would think that this girl with the chubby thighs who poured herself into pants that used to fit, was going to fail. This former athlete and fitness enthusiast had become lazy and unmotivated and it showed. I felt intimidated by the girls walking by as we chatted in the gym lobby and I was convinced that Stacey was having this meeting with me out of obligation and would certainly not accept me into this program. Apparently, a my lack of fitness was tied to more than just an abundance of Rusty's pizza. It was a direct result of the lack of confidence and general feeling of unhappiness in my personal and professional life.
Then she asked me if I would like to participate and start training for the December 2010 show.
WHAT???????
She really just asked me that? I had zero muscle tone and more booty than I had ever seen in my life and she wanted me to join her group of bikini competitors? I hesitated and then said "sure" before I could really stop and think about what it would entail. I was locked in...still not completely convinced that I was going to be able to put in the insane work required or look good enough to actually compete.
The program was exhausting and I loved every minute of it. I lifted weights 4 times a week, did my morning and sometimes evening cardio AND did a carb cycle to melt off that pesky fat. It was blood, sweat and tears (no exaggeration). My lack of focus and lethargy in life slowly became strength physically and mentally. I loved the positive energy from the other girls at the gym and looked forward to every session. I loved the sore muscles, the piles of sweaty gym clothes on my bedroom floor AND the looks and comments I got about my body and overall attitude. People were noticing the transformation and it felt amazing. My boss who was holding a department meeting once stopped mid-sentence, looked at me and said, "wow, I can see the difference in your face already!". I was traveling along an unknown path and I was ROCKIN it! I ate my chicken, egg whites and broccoli like a champ and endured many funny comments and looks as I carried my Tupperware everywhere I went. Even with this new self-confidence, I was scared of the competition and didn't register for the show until the week before.
During this three-month training program, my dad became very sick. He suffered 2 strokes and endured a very complicated heart valve replacement surgery. I was traveling 8 hours from SB to Nor Cal every other weekend and packing my food with me. The mental stress took it's toll on me, but everyone at the gym knew what was happening and became an extended family. The outpouring of love and support was amazing.
Also during this training, my husband and I separated after seven years together. All the momentum and energy I developed quickly became an endless fog of tears and physical and emotional pain. The pain was real and it lasted for months. I went to bed with it at night and I woke up with it everyday. I carried the weight of loss and grief with me every day. I missed work, sleep and meals. I was depressed and it showed. The muscle I had built was slowly fading and I was losing weight quickly. The emaciated look is not okay for bikini competitors, and Stacey stepped in.
She let me talk about it. That was all I needed. I just needed to talk about and try to feel like a normal person for a few hours. I needed to know that I was not alone and that there were others who had gone through this incredibly traumatic event. Stacey and her other clients gave me support that some of my long time friends did not. I looked forward to the gym because I was building new friendships with some amazing women. It had become more than the bikini competition. It had become an evolution of my life and the people in it. I thank God everyday for Stacey and these women because of the love and support I received from them.
After a lot of thought, I decided to continue training. My loss of appetite wasn't ideal, but I tried to keep on the high protein diet. Honestly, that diet probably kept me from getting really sick. The training program gave me a heathy focus and allowed me to physically release the frustration and pain that I felt. I worked as hard as I could and made it to that competition. I wore my suit, my new muscles and also my new-found sense of strength and self worth. I had no idea that I was capable of training that hard for that long while enduring the most difficult year of my life. Exercise really can be an amazing form of therapy.
I always say that I trained for three months, gave up sugar, alcohol and countless hours of sleep for that one "after" picture. But in reality, I trained and sacrificed for a renewed sense of physical and mental strength, a new life for myself AND all of the wonderful women I adore and love.
And now, when I put on jeans that once lived in that pesky donation pile, I send a text to Stacey Cooper and I thank her for giving me back my health... and my impressive booty.
